


Makoto Is Drunk AF

by NieRville



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Crossroads, F/M, Hangover, Humor, Illustrated, Silly, shumako
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 05:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16112222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NieRville/pseuds/NieRville
Summary: This has GOT to be the most self-explanatory title I've ever written for Persona.Contains an illustration by @nfoliage_





	Makoto Is Drunk AF

Dum-du-du-duu-du-dumm. IM. Ann.

"Ren wi're atthe Xrodas come gt M home"

Okay, Ann was never the most lucid of writers but apparently she was even worse when drunk. Ren had been reading some poems by Ryookan, so Ann's drunken verbalistics were a sudden attack on his sensibilities. He needed to put some effort into changing his brain from Zen poetry mode to decoding inebriated enigmas.

He had never been to Xrodas. Could it be Xordas? Xadors? Xaodrs - no, that made even less sense, no Japanese could ever be able to pronounce that. X... X... Crossroads?

"Oh, hi. You're at the Crossroads? Is Makoto drunk, too?"

Dum-du-du-d...

"shis vvvery drnk and cnt waalk"

What had the girls been doing...

Shinjuku, then... Book down, jacket on, through the door and into the subway. Hold on, drunken Queen. Your Joker is coming to get you. The irony of it amused Ren: the High Priestess making a Fool out of herself, and him being the responsible one here. But that's booze for you: it topples things, turns them upside down.

-

"Amamiya-san, welcome," said Lala-chan.

"You're finally hhere!" It was Ann. Makoto hadn't seen Ren come in, yet, but Ren's eyes naturally saw her first. She was sitting on a bar stool, head on the counter. Her face was pointing in his direction, but her eyes were focused on a shot glass on the counter and she was tracing the rim of it with her forefinger. She was muttering something to herself. Ren walked to her, but circled to her backside to listen to her.

"Rrrenrennn... I looove yyoouuu sooo-ooooo-oomuucchhh and I wishshhh you were here now..."

"He ish here, Makoto..." Ann said. Ren tried to interrupt her with a shush but Ann was oblivious to his signals.

"No, he ishn't... I wisshh he wasshh... I'd caresshh hish lipsh like thisshh..."

"Mako-cchan, he ish here..."

"Don't ever lie to meee, Ann... I'd know if he wasshh... I have a... I have a.... Ren-scanner for that. Ren-scanner. Rendar... I have a Rendar..."

With every word, Ren felt his chest almost explode from the way his heart behaved. Moreover, it became ever harder to hold down his laughter. _Rendar_? Someone was jamming that Rendar, then, and badly.

He crept closer. Closer. Closer to her ear. Until his lips could almost feel her hair, and frankly, his nose could smell the alcohol. But she was his Makoto, nevertheless.

He whispered in the lowest voice he could muster, "Beep."

Makoto jumped on her seat! Her ear bashed against Ren's lips and he was lucky it was a terribly soft ear, because even like this, his lips were squished between his own teeth and Makoto's head, only padded by the soft ear. Yes, it was very soft.

"Ouch!"

"Reeenrenrenren!"

"Hello." He smirked, although it felt somewhat painful.

"Reeeenrenrenren!" She launched from the barstool and flew into his arms. She had more enthusiasm than balance, though, and immediately collapsed. Ren took a hold of her with one arm and guided Makotos' arms around his neck with the other.

"Ren... I misshhed you sshhoo..." Makoto cuddled her head against Ren's chest. "I'm sshoorry, I think I dr-drank one too mmanny..."

"One?" Ren eyed Ann and Lala-chan. "What exactly happened here?"

"Wwweeell... We celebrated my photoshhooot and... had a couple of drinkssh..."

"I know that much already, Ann," Ren laughed. "But how much is a couple of drinks?" He knew Makoto. She wouldn't be downed by a drink or two.

"Uu-uummm... Let'sss shhee..." Ann started counting in her head, using her fingers to help her. One, two, three, four... four again... What, she couldn't even count on her _fingers_? She couldn't be _that_ bad at math, could she? Must have been the booze.

"Well, at least... five."

"Five? Okay. But that isn't too bad for her?"

"Ohh... That wasshh before I ordered her... a... Long Island Iced Tea."

Five different types of liquor in one drink.

"Annnd made it a double."

"No, she didn't," interrupted Lala-chan. "I didn't make a double."

"Yy-you didn't??? But I paid..."

"I only charged for a regular one. Don't worry. I wouldn't let you guys down a double in your shape."

"Thank you, Lala-chan," Ren said. "I knew I could count on you."

"But... I let Makoto sh-ship shome of mine, too... And I think she really liked the tashte..."

"She downed it in ten minutes or so. I'm sorry, Amamiya-san."

"It's okay, Lala-chan. Makoto has her unpredictable side." At least this time she didn't barge into a mafia boss's establishment. It's all relative. He had sometimes thought of writing a relationship guide where he would recommend starting out on the worst possible footing, so that would put all things into perspective. Step 1: Set your eye on one of your worst possible threats. It helps if they're amazingly cute. Step 2: Set it up so that you can see each other in a different light. Hiding behind an upside-down manga optional. Step 3: One of you do should do something incredibly stupid.

But maybe the formula wasn't universal enough to be a repeated as a sure-fire way of building a healthy relationship, so Ren had given up on it.

He returned his attention to Makoto, who was still nuzzling against his chest and saying something stupidly cute things like "I'm shhory, Ren", "I lllove you ssho mmuch, Ren", "I wwwant to be with you forrrever, Ren", "You shmellll so goood, Rren" (and he couldn't return the compliment, with the state she was in).

"Okay, cutie pie," (cutie pie? Was he getting drunk as well?), "let's get you home. Can you walk?"

"Yesh... Yesh, I can. I'm jusht a l-little tired."

Makoto pushed herself into a reasonably upright position and looked up at Ren. "Oo-oops.... I... shouldn't l-look up. But... I'll walk..."

"Are you sure?"

"Of c-courshe I'm s-shure! Watch me."

Makoto let go of Ren, and Ren also let go of her. Makoto took a step towards the door. And another. Her legs took long, wild strides, and her upper body was about as sturdy as a seaweed. And boom, she crashed into a barstool.

"Ow."

Ren ran to her aid. Luckily she had no visible marks on her skin.

"Does it hurt?" Duh. "Where does it hurt?"

"...Umm... I'm not hurt!" A drunken declaration that she would surely take back tomorrow because that crash would surely leave a bruise or two on her body. "B-but could you ca-carry me home?"

He didn't exactly object. Carrying Makoto was one of her favorite things. So he mmm'd affirmatively and said goodbye and thank you and sorry to Lala-chan and Ann.

He then took Makoto on his back. He carried her a few steps and out the door, but then he realized that Makoto was _heavy_. Much heavier than usual. She was like dead weight on his back. No matter how cute she was and how much he liked carrying her, she didn't help at all and he was starting to suspect that she was starting to pass out.

 

 

"Makoto, we need a change of plans."

"Wh-what???" It took a while for her to respond. She really _was_ starting to pass out.

"You're passing out and I can't carry you all the way like that."

"B-but I like it when... when you carry me..."

Ren sighed. "I like it, too. But I can't carry you all the way home. I'll support you. I'll put you down now, and you put your arm on my shoulder."

"L-like thissh?"

Nothing like that.

"Umm... No, let's try... this way. And I'll put my arm here, so I can support you."

That was better, but still not exactly easy. Ren had never realized how hard it is to walk someone with no sense of balance. With every step that Makoto took, her upper body swung this way and that. She hickuped and laughed and apologized, so at least she was in a good mood. But it took all of Ren's efforts to walk her near the subway.

And then he gave up and called a taxi to take them home.

-

"Ow."

"Good morning, sweetie."

"O-ow. Don't talk so loud."

"LIKE THIS, THEN?"

"O-ow!"

"Sorry, couldn't resist." He lowered his voice and smiled. "Have a glass of water."

"I...I'm not sure I can move."

"I'll help you." He sat down on the bed and supported her just enough so that she could sip some water. "Here. Drink up."

"Thank you... I've never felt this bad in my life..." She laid her head down again.

"I've never seen you anywhere near that condition." He was avoiding the word "drunk" - any mention of alcohol might upset her stomach.

"Wh-what happened? How did I... get here?"

"Ann texted me and I got you home. It's already noon, so I've been up for some time now."

"N-noon?!" Makoto used to wake up at 6 am, even on her days off. She had read that an early wake-up and a steady schedule were good for you.

"Yes. I let you sleep. Looks like you needed it. I went shopping, too!"

"Y-you did?"

"Well, we were out of shijimi clams."

"You made... you made shijimi soup for me?"

"I thought your liver could use a boost."

Makoto broke down. If a face could make a rainbow, hers would, because her smile was like the sun and her tears of joy were overflowing.

"R-ren, really?" Bwaa. She really was emotional.

Ren reached to the floor and took the bowl of soup from a platter he'd placed on the floor. "Here."

"Ooo-ohh..." A pause. "Wait, I'm... I think I need to go, first."

"Sure," he smiled.

Makoto's recovery from that much liquor might take a while, but Ren stocked up. Makoto could eat all the clam soup she wanted, and drink some of her favorite juices. He also had made her drink a lot of water last night.

And he couldn't wait to tell Makoto that he had rented two Yakuza movies and prepared some fresh vegetable snacks for her to munch on. She would feel bad for a few hours, but he'd take care of her.

And if she started to feel better towards the evening, he had bought a couple of packets of Pocky, too. It was going to be a fine, fun Sunday for just the two of them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Mel (@melkechi) and Bil (@nfoliage_) for the inspiration! The pic is Bil's and used with permission.
> 
> Thanks to Phan-Site for telling me about the Japanese hangover cure, shijimi clam soup!


End file.
